well, the good news is i don't have glaucoma

I went to see the eye doctor today because I thought I was going blind. I thought I'd better start learning Braille now so I can at least see what I'm doing for a short while. Here's the deal, in church, I don't know if it's the lighting in the sanctuary or if the print in my Bible is way too small, but I look down and the words look like a big blurry blob. It's even worse on the pages that have Jesus' words in the red letters and since our pastor is currently preaching out of Luke, it's been quite a problem, as you can imagine, because Jesus talks a lot in Luke. I have also recently had to increase the font size on this here computer screen because I spend way too much time on the computer and my eyes were having a hard time focusing. So I thought even though it wasn't quite time for an appointment, I'd better go.

I was amazed at the technological advances in the last 18 months. You know that "does it look better here or when I move it here, is it better at A or here at B" machine? It's all electronic now. The doctor doesn't even have to manually adjust the thing anymore. So cool.

We found out early on in the visit that my right eye's prescription was too strong. So my eye was having to adjust and that could be part of my problem. This is the first time in my life that I've had a different prescription in my eyes. So I had to order a box of contacts for my right eye. In case you're wondering, one box of contacts = $50.

Oh, the fun doesn't stop there. No sir-ee. I had all of the following done today (and I'm not making this stuff up):

• Yellow dye drops - to see if my contacts are causing any irritation.
• Glaucoma test - Now I have worn glasses since the 2nd grade, so I've had this test so many times I can't even count. Yet it gets me every single time. Wait for it, try not to blink, relax your eye, one air puff in my left eye, causing me to jump out of the chair. Move the machine over. Wait for it, try not to blink, relax your eye, one air puff in my right eye, causing me to jump even higher out of my chair. Oh wait, it registered high. We're going to try it again. Wait for it, wait for it. . .second air puff in my right eye. I still jump. She still doesn't like the reading, we take this glaucoma thing pretty serious because it can cause blindness (oh my goodness, maybe I really am going blind!) and this isn't really the best test to measure eye pressure anyway, so we're going to do something else.

OK, my question here is, if it's not the best test to measure eye pressure, then why do we do it every single time?

• Numb the eyes - use a stinging, burning solution which will numb your eyes for approximately 15 minutes. Eyes begin crying yellow tears.
• Glaucoma test #2 - bring machine right up to your eyeball, not touching it, but close enough that you can feel your eyelashes.
• Hear great news - I'm not going blind from glaucoma! Everything tested just fine.

Tune in tomorrow for Flashback Friday's Trendy Wendy in all her corrective lenses glory. You won't want to miss it.