feeling blue

Those of you who know me well know that I have my days. My blue days. My "I don't talk to you much or look very happy" days. My quiet days. My days when I cry and I can't quite figure out what I'm crying about. My days when I'm homesick and I miss my family and friends more. And then when I think about all of them, I get even more blue. The days that when I feel this way and my sister calls me on the phone, she knows immediately something's not right. Perhaps it all started on Friday night when I couldn't find a park by the water and I was so bummed. I really was bummed. Even though the whole thing was just stupid. I'm not sure what brought it on exactly. But yesterday was one of those days. And so was earlier this morning.

I usually turn on the radio to The Fish on Sunday mornings. Instead of their normal contemporary lineup, they play the same artists singing more traditional hymns and praise choruses. I really like listening to it as we are getting ready for church. All those good hymns remind me of my Baptist roots!

I had a good cry in the shower and the supportive arms of my husband to bring me over that hump. And I thought I was done crying. But in the bathroom when I was doing my hair, I heard the song Because He Lives come on. Which made me instantly think of my grandma and how much I really miss her. Which made me cry again and feel sad and blue. And then I hear the words to the chorus and was reminded that it's going to be ok - simply because He lives.

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow

Because He lives

All fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future

And life is worth the living

Just because He lives.

So I'd like to think that maybe Grandma had something to do with that song coming on just then. I don't know how it all works up there. But I believe in some way people you love don't stop loving you just because they're in heaven now. And in simple everyday occurrences, like songs coming on the radio, they let you know that they still love you.

After church and lunch, we decided to get out and enjoy this absolutely beautiful northwest day. I needed the sun and I needed to be out. Phil took me to Portland to the Vera Katz Esplanade right along the Willamette River. Which was exactly the sort of thing I was hoping to find Friday night in Vancouver. We sat on a bench (something we love to do because we have a history with benches), people watched (something I love to do just because) and took a walk in the sunshine. Here's Phil with Vera :) She was like the mayor of Portland or something. Phil said he was never really a big fan.

For those of you who've never been to Portland, this is what it looks like. . .

There are quite a few bridges in the city. Most of them I don't like. Especially the Morrison, the one here by Phil. It's the bridge he takes into downtown for work everyday. It's a draw-bridge with a steel grid base that makes your tires sway back and forth when you drive over it. A few years ago, some woman was going a little too fast over this bridge, and was talking on her cell phone to her sister at the same time, and she ended up going over the guard rail into the nasty water below. You might remember her. She was on all the entertainment news shows. I have vowed to not let that happen to me.

We were going to end the day by making a stop at Powell's Used Books. It's seven floors of a book lover's paradise. It's supposedly like the largest book store in the US. But, there's something to be said about being downtown and not finding parking anywhere near the place. So I said we could opt for Plan B - which was a stop at Barnes & Noble. As we were pulling around into the area where it is, we see one of those guys waving the sign for a Store Liquidation Sale at Linens and Things. Everything was 25-50% off. Let's just say we never made it over to B&N.

Did I mention how much I love this guy? I'm so blessed to have him in my life.

And I'm not feeling quite so blue anymore. In case you were wondering.