i pity the fools on biggest loser (go ahead, say it like mr. t.)

One of my students gave me a gift card to Fred Meyer as an end of the year sort of "thanks for being my teacher" sort of thing. (Hmmm. . . I just said sort of too many times.) I went in specifically to look for some new workout DVDs. Yes, it was hard to bypass the teeny-tiny scrapbook section. To forgo a new scented candle. To leave the cute flip flops hanging on the hook. But I came out with three. Here's what I've learned so far (after a mere two days and two workouts using only two of the DVDs):

1. Day 1: Hung out with Denise Austin. This lively video has four 10 minute segments that you can mix and match as well as a warm up and cool down. Yeah for not being bored! I went for the retro 80's style workout first. Oh, you remember, grapevine! Heals to the tush! Let's come back with ponies! And now, heel jacks! Total classic aerobics. Then I decided to click on Latin dance to round out my day. Mistake #1 - it's Latin. Mistake #2 - it's dance. I can't keep straight a rumba from a samba, let alone shake my hips for the cha-cha-cha like those little taebo-tikis do. (Nat, that was for you.) But. . .I'm burning fat fast (really, am I?) and I didn't do nearly as bad as I thought I would.

2. How those people survive beyond the first hour training with Bob and Jillian is beyond me. I attempted level one of this baby yesterday morning, In an invigorating (I'm sure that's not the right word) 20 minute segment, I stopped more than twenty times to catch my breath, and paid for it all day today. Every blessed muscle in my body hurts. Every time I sat down I felt like the end was near because surely Jesus was going to come to take me home.

3. Hate to tell you this, Jillian, but I think it's going to take more than 30 days for me to "shred" seeings how I won't be able to do your level one segment again until the end of August (because that's how bad it feels right now). I certainly did not try it again today for fear that I wouldn't make it out of bed to go to the beach for my anniversary/birthday get-a-way. And besides, Phil told me not to over-do it.

4. Maybe I shouldn't have taken the plastic wrapper off this one, because who knows when I'll actually be ready do some power sculpting with Bob.

5. Jillian does not scream at me the whole entire time. She simply and rather calmly reminds me over and over that my body is capable of working out hard. That I can do it. That I'll do better and feel stronger the next time. (We'll see about that.)

6. When you buy a workout DVD from the store, it's best to read the Amazon reviews after you've already removed the security tape. Those people said I'd be hurting today, and I didn't believe them. Because I didn't start hurting until last night. Oh, I mean my arms were shaky all day from the pushups, but I didn't feel pain. After Phil and I came back in from our 1.2 mile walk around the neighborhood, (1.2 miles really isn't that far - it's not like we were running it or anything) I felt it. And this morning, when it was time to get up, I couldn't go about it in my usual roll out of bed sort of way. It was a move one muscle one inch at a time, scream and moan a bit, and let the pain subside for a few minutes before you move again sort of way.

7. Listen to your husband when he says not to over-do it.