crossing that bridge

I guess you could say I'm super afraid of bridges. Maybe it's because shortly after I moved out here, a gal (talking on her cell phone to her sister) went over the side of one. The Morrison Bridge. It was such a big story it even made Inside Edition. It's the same bridge I take to get downtown to where Phil works.

There's another bridge, a double decker, that I absolutely can't stand. The Markum Bridge. It scares me to death every time we cross it. Being on the bottom is better for me than being on the top because on the bottom there's a little fence-like thing. (Like that's really going to hold me on should I come to close to the edge.) Oh, that top level, scarrrrry!!! There's a little cement wall (LITTLE) and then it's open to the waters below.

Then there's the Glenn Jackson. Everyday on my way to and from school I have to cross that bridge. It's really big. Really long. Really wide (4+ lanes in both directions, plus a sidewalk/bike path in the middle. It's the 205 freeway that goes on the outer eastern section of Portland and Vancouver.

Before we moved I didn't have to cross any bridges. It was smooth sailing. Before I moved out here I wasn't afraid of bridges either. I was afraid of thunderstorms and tornadoes. Now that I don't have those to worry about anymore, I acquired a fear of earthquakes. So maybe it's not really the bridge I'm afraid of, it's more the possibility of being on one when "the big one strikes."
Well, the other day, I was on that bridge. A very crowded Glenn Jackson on my way to school. Bumper to bumper traffic with more cars trying to merge and no where to merge. It was cold and kind of windy. A weird thought popped into my head as I was trying not to think about the thing collapsing and me being trapped in my car deep down in the Columbia River.
I'm one person in one car on one bridge. Imagine how many other people are on this same bridge. Imagine how many other people are on bridges in Portland. . .in Oregon. . .in the USA. . .in North America. . .in the world. It blew my mind away.

Then the verse about God watching over even the sparrows came to my mind. And I thought, "Well, if God can keep track of the sparrows, He can certainly keep track of me on this bridge."
Phil tells me when I'm driving not to think of my bridge/earthquake fears. That's hard for me. If you know me very well, you'll know what a control freak I am about most things. It really screws me up when I can have no control over things whatsoever.

So I guess I should take my husband's advice when I'm crossing that bridge and not think about that, but instead, think about how much I mean to God, how He is in control, and how much He loves me.